Hillary

Things I can't stand:

Popped collars. Public displays of homosexual affection. Hillary Clinton supporters.

I've come to the realization that there is not one person in the United States who is going to vote for Hillary Clinton because of her political stances. No, Hillary's sole attractive feature to American voters is the (alleged) snatch she carries around in her hypocritically deep pocket. Ironically, this doesn't seem to interest male voters - my canine powers of olfaction lead me to believe this is because it is dryer than a Saharan sandstorm - instead, her cavernous cooch draws only females, like a black hole emitting dykes-only gravitational forces (for more on black holes, read Parallel Worlds by Michio Kaku).

The first time I saw Monica Lewinsky, I thought: Why, Bill? Why? Now I understand that poor William's two-by-four couldn't handle any more time between a pair of electric sanders (coarse grain). Only rugburn of astronomical magnitude could drive a man with so many options into the mouth of a woman even a pre-fame McLovin could pick up (for more on astronomical magnitude, read Parallel Worlds by Michio Kaku).

But I digress - Hillary supporters. Hillary supporters are what they are for a number of reasons, that being equal to the number of synonyms for "vagina." How these overweight sorostitutes have avoided the political jadedness that afflicts anyone who's never ridden the short bus escapes me, but I do know this: the next person that thrusts unsolicited Clinton propaganda (that's kind of redundant) in my face is going to eat an epic, double-fisted, orbital bone-shattering punch. For added kicks, picture this mentally. I just got a boner (for more on boners, read The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama).

Let me quickly say that men who punch women are despicable. Abuse is a tragic and worthless method used by cowards and Protestants. Now that I've put that on the table, let me also say that men who righteously punch women share a court of marble thrones in my heart. I myself have righteously unleashed into the maw of a loose collection of fat deposits that had convinced itself it was a human female, and let me tell you - it was as if Jesus reached into my body and high-fived my soul. Twice.

Anyways, the point here is simple. Hillary Clinton is a bad presidential candidate. Her own husband would rather stick his pecker in anonymous unattractive women then face the blackbody radiation in her uterus. Her political plans suck more dick than - well - Monica Lewinsky. In fact, the next time you want your knob slobbed, call up Hillary's plan for medical reform.

In closing, ladies, please don't vote for Hillary. Seriously, I'll pay any woman that doesn't vote for Hillary $100.

To, uh, suck my dick. Bitch.

-Endal

The Introduction

Man's best friend is dog.

Woman's? Diamonds.

You can call me Endal. If you've got a pork sword dangling between your unshaven legs, this is the forum for you.

DogsAndDiamonds has one purpose: To pinch loaves of prodigious size and quantity squarely onto the chests, voluminous or otherwise, of bitches. This is not to say that I hate women - all women are not bitches. Bitches are not necessarily women. But, to be frank, some things just need to be said.

Here's to saying them.

-Endal